February 2012
30 posts
6 tags
St. Michaels College and Burlington, Vermont!
I went to Burlington to visit a few colleges this past weekend. It was a really long drive, but when we got there I really, really liked it. We went to visit St. Michaels college and while we were there we took a look at UVM as well. I liked St. Michaels a lot. I can see myself fitting in there, but also being a unique addition to their community. Almost everything seemed great! The only thing I...
Confession: I want boys boxers...
I actually want, like, boxer briefs. It isn’t acceptable for my girls underwear to show if my pants sag ever so slightly and I think they’d look good peeking out from my jeans. Why am I even explaining my reasoning! I just want them! But I can’t buy them because my mom does my laundry and she’d find it very weird if she was washing boys underwear. I don’t think...
Watchgleegate:
Brittana moments from ‘Heart’ or as i like to call it ‘Brittana.’
8 tags
Confession: I am not as strong as you think I am....
I smile because I can’t help it. I just naturally smile to diffuse any tension or serious conversations that may come up. I can’t take myself seriously. I just joke and laugh and smile. But behind the sarcasm, jokes, and cheerfulness is a girl who is hurting. I need to let it out but I can’t. There is no one to listen. I won’t let anyone know that I am sad. I won’t...
Lately I have had too much on my mind. It's really...
I am distracted from my work and I can never do anything right anymore. I wish everything would just work out. I wish all this wasn’t a big deal, but it is. I am so afraid of someone finding out too soon that I can’t even write it straight out. If I can’t even write it when will I be able to say it out loud. I guess at this point it doesn’t matter. Stuff like this never...
1 tag
8 tags
Today was an eventful day in my androgynous life.
I was mistaken for a boy for the first time in school by a teacher. He looked so uncomfortable once he realized that I am a girl and not the “Sir” that he originally called me. He was so apologetic and it seemed he didn’t even know what to say. It was actually kind of entertaining :) Then, after school I was doing community service with honor society and we were doing crafts with...
2 tags
I am excited to go to college.
I just hope I can manage to find one that is the perfect fit for me.
I am trying not to feel bad.
But it’s really hard to keep a chin up when it seems like this sort of thing never works out for me. Ever. Not even close.
I am dance captain in my school’s musical and my choreographer told me that I am doing a really good job. I love the dancing in this show and even though rehearsals are long and tiring, I am loving every minute of them. :)
Oh jeez.
I was at the mall with my friend, J, the other day and we bumped into one of her friends. We said hi and J introduced me to them as her best friend. Later, she found out that her friends thought J and I were lesbians just because we both have short hair……. -_-. Goodness people! She introduced me to them as her best friend! If we were dating she would have introduced me as her...
Yeah, I'll tell you something. I think you'll...
January 2012
34 posts
Huge success!!!
When something doesn’t come easily to me, it becomes very hard to learn. I have never been good at math. Even in elementary school. My brain just doesn’t seem to be able to grasp the type of thinking needed to understand math. I have always been able to get by, though……. until last year. I took trigonometry last year and it was so difficult for me. I struggled throughout...
I am so conflicted.
So many things have been bugging me lately. Particularly one thing. It is eating away at me. I know it’ll all turn out okay, but I feel so uncomfortable with this whole situation at the moment. I never thought that I would be dealing with what I am dealing with right now.
Anonymous asked: You're beautiful. You sound like such a wonderful person!
5 tags
Today I encountered a very ignorant person.
I was at the mall with a friend and I was dressed in my usual androgynous clothing. My friend wanted to go into Gilly Hicks so we went in and she was about to try on some shorts. When we were in the dressing room area, the employee who was unlocking the room, leaned over to my friend and said “Boys aren’t allowed in here. That’s a boy, right?”. My friend then told her that...
I am doing fairly well with my studying so far.
I just hope and pray that I can pass this Alg.2/Trig. regents exam tomorrow. I really, really need to. I struggle so much with math, but I have never had such a difficult time as I am having with Trig. I am a bright girl but my brain just can’t seem to grasp most of these concepts. I just pray that by the grace of God I can pass this. I don’t even care if I pass with a 65, I just need...
Confession: I want a nickname
I kinda want an androgynous nickname. Or even just a nickname for when I want to refer to myself as something other than my given name. Maybe Elle. I’ve thought about Riley or Payton before but they just don’t make sense. Hmmm..
My youth group leader is an amazing person.
I have so much respect for her.
3 tags
My cousin won a stuffed animal from one of those claw machines at the store today. It’s a bright pink, polka-dotted, and rainbow striped turkey. I asked if it had a name. She said, “His name is Marty!”
I love that although it was bright pink, she didn’t automatically see it as a girl. Hooray for open minded kids and breaking gender stereotypes!
3 tags
The kids in my school are so homophobic. They are ignorant. They just aren’t exposed to gay people so they have no chance at getting to know how awesome they can be. How normal they can be. These kids in my school just fear the unknown. It is sad to hear what they say and to witness their ignorance. I guess there just aren’t really any gay kids in my school so they aren’t open to...
ADHD strikes again
Wow. I can’t focus. I have to study. I can’t wait until I get the help that I need with this. We are in the process but it is a very slow moving process right now. :(
2 tags
I just bought the cutest necktie
I love wearing it, but I couldn’t buy it in front of my mom. I had to buy it with my friend then hide it in my pocket. I just didn’t want her to yell at me for “dressing like a boy”. I am not trying to dress like a boy I just want to dress like me! And I like boys clothes sometimes most of the time. I love button ups and ties and my short hair. I am happy when I look...
I am not assertive enough
I am the dance captain for my school’s musical and I had to go over the a dance we had learned with all of the girls in the show and at the same time I had to teach the girls who weren’t there when we learned it. They were being loud and disrespectful to each other. I am better one on one or in small groups. It helps me to make a connection with those I am teaching or helping and it...
