**please excuse the messy open closet in the photo above**
This is my journey of becoming myself. I am at the years where I am leaving childhood and growing into the person I truly am and I'm realizing that it isn't always easy. Well this blog will be a place for me to let out my frustrations or anything else that I need to get out.
Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor
Confession: I am not as strong as you think I am. I am not as happy as you think I am
I smile because I can’t help it. I just naturally smile to diffuse any tension or serious conversations that may come up. I can’t take myself seriously. I just joke and laugh and smile. But behind the sarcasm, jokes, and cheerfulness is a girl who is hurting. I need to let it out but I can’t. There is no one to listen. I won’t let anyone know that I am sad. I won’t let anyone see my weakness. It just isn’t who I am. But I am sad. I am miserable right now. My heart feels like its ripped up into a thousand pieces. I can’t go on feeling like this. My heart aches with the knowledge that I am never loved like that. I don’t know why. My confidence can’t be killed and my hope never dies, but I don’t know if that’s good or bad. I just know that I feel terrible right now. I don’t know how I will continue this week like this. I just want to curl up and cry myself to sleep and stay asleep until things get better. I cannot handle all of my responsibilities with school when I can’t even handle life itself. But I have to. Because nobody knows I am like this.
